Not the Mouse Club. (Southern Hospitality NYC)

So I live relatively close to it and I love BBQ and got fevered at the aspect of having a nearby decent BBQ joint. I also would like to point out how I started this post with excuses because a red blooded male should have excuses for going to a restaurant made famous by Justin Timberlake's patronage. First off the staff seems to be uninterested at best. They all would rather be shopping at the mall or studying for their calc exams. When finally seated (it was packed I tell you), we were put at a table where one seat faced the wall, mine. This is a pet peeve of mine, if your restaurant has seats that face a wall, please put either a mirror or something interesting to look at... not a wall! The menu was uninspired, the server didn't care about BBQ and she was also overwhelmed by her enormous section of 3 tables. The ribs were dry, the sauce was bland and the slaw was runny. The beer was good. It came from a clean tap. After the bill came not only was I full of bad BBQ and left feeling sick, but I was notably poorer. This is as expensive as BBQ gets. Upon exiting the restaurant tired and beaten I did notice a very packed bar with fresh faced lovely ladies no doubt hoping to catch a glimpse of JT. I recommend this bar to nobody but my arch nemesis. Had I not been lazy I might have had a nice meal at R.U.B a short subway ride away.

2 out of 10 ninja stars

460 2nd Ave
New York, NY 10075
(212) 249-1001

Pupusas not for the bathroom. (Ercilia's Washington DC)

In my last trip to DC I had a chance to visit a cute little El Salvadorian restaurant in Adams Morgan. The place didn't look like anything special but it had been highly recommended by friends. I didn't even know what a pupusa was before going here. For you lamens, it's a cornmeal based fried pancake filled with meat, cheese, and or beans. The pupusa itself is not ultra flavorful but once you eat it with the accompanying slaw stuff, magic happens. I like going to places where the only people who go there are obviously of the same country as the food because it makes me reassured I'm tasting something authentic. However, this place was was full of El Salvadorians and the wait for pupusas seemed to take forever. I almost died of starvation, not to mention I was hung over from drinking at Dan's Cafe all night. When it finally arrived, I had to drench it in hot sauce to bring out some flavor. It was my favorite of all the fried/baked meat pie-like eats i've tried thus far, but there was nothing really notable about the place except I know they made these from scratch because I had to wait for the corn to grow. Additionally, the horchata was terrible, too sweet and not a favorable consistency. Go here if you're in Adams Morgan but it's not worth the detour.

5 out of 10 ninja stars

3070 Mount Pleasant St NW
Washington, DC 20009
(202) 387-0909

My favorite speak-easy. (124 Old Rabbit Club NYC)

This place is awesome! Its punk rock meets fallout shelter. They have an amazing beer list divided by region and incredibly knowledgeable bartenders. I can easily spend an entire night here. Im bringing my sleeping bag and hiding in the bathroom till they lock up. Its an especially refreshing place to go on weekends where most people can't find it and so you can still get a seat at the bar. If you get hungry you could go outside to one of the many kebab stands OR you can eat one of the delicious pretzel bread sandwiches. Go for the Roast beef! Wash it down with some bacon flavored beer, they know which one it is. Now I know all of you will start going here and thats ok, just leave room for me.  

9 out of 10 ninja stars

124 Macdougal St

New York, NY 10012

(212) 254-0575

Italian without the alfredo sauce. (Grotto NYC)

Grotto is probably impossible to find unless your looking. But if you do find it you will be pleased. For once It's a real italian joint without all the tourist attractions like alfredo sauce or pizza. The main dining room is long and narrow and gives me the feeling of being on an ocean liner with all the port holes and the underwater breathing apparatus on the walls. Its not cheesy at all, very classical and comfortable decor. Now I ate hear with a big group and found it surprising that it was empty but fortunately for us we had no trouble getting a table in the better of two dining rooms. There is supposed to be outside dining but in December I would have to drink a gallon of antifreeze to sit outside while dining. The menu was reasonable priced as was the wine list. Everything was italian. There were so many items on the menu I wanted to try I felt like a frat-boy at the playboy mansion. I ended up getting the pumpkin gnocci which I believe to be the best gnocci I have ever eaten. I followed with a duck special that was delicious. The best part was the dessert. They have the holy grail of Tiramisu and it was so good my face melted off. I loved this place and I recommend everyone try it!

9 out of 10 ninja stars

100 Forsyth St
New York, NY 10002
(212) 625-3444

Food or Science? (WD-50 NYC)

I had the chance to check out a often-mentioned restaurant in the lower east side recently. It was called WD-50. This place is an interesting paradox. Not only is it difficult to get a reservation, but once you get there, you will encounter a flurry of service problems and a seriously horrid decor until you reach your table. The decor is like a motley mash up of modern and ugly and ugly won. The hostess was also the coat check and when two tables arrived at the same time she was totally overwhelmed and it took her 5 minutes to tell me to wait at the bar for my table. The bartender was nice but his bar was so well lit I could see how ugly the girls were before my first drink and therefore decided not to drink to intoxication at this particular establishment. when I finally got to sit down at the table I was surprised by the general grace and food knowledge of the server. She was pretty and knew everything about the menu to boot. I hate when places hire dumb models who have to go to the kitchen to figure out what comes with the steak-frites.  I can't exactly remember everything I tried because it was so good I entered a state of unconsciousness created by food nirvana. The popcorn soup was very interesting and different. The steak came with a coconut foam and coffee gnocci. Oddly enough the flavors melted together in my mouth and exploded every taste bud I had with satisfaction. The best thing I tried was the pork belly. It was AMAZING. I mean bacon tastes better than most things but this was like the most flavorful belly I ever ate, the sauce complemented it so well and it was tender and just excellent. I would also like to point out that this place was so audacious about the tenderness of their meats that they offered nothing to cut them but a butter knife. The menu is reasonably priced but the wine list will hit the paycheck HARD. The bathroom was also the coolest bathroom ever. Each stall is hidden in a facet-less bamboo wall with a flanking giant mosaic of seafood above motion sensor sinks. This Place comes highly recommended by me for blind people and foodies, but not for anything else. I think if I brought a date here she would spit in my eye for choosing such an affront to good taste. Maybe someone could tell them to never let a chef design his own dining room ever again, or at least not this one. 

7 out of 10 ninja stars

50 Clinton St

New York, NY 10002

(212) 477-2900

www.wd-50.com